welcome to the necropolis

neutralnewt:

iiiarclight:

how to be cool

A) cool sunglasses emoji
B)

is that a god damn pun. in emoticon format

(Source: tooruoikawa)

posted 1 hour ago with 267,399 notes
via:auroraartemis source:tooruoikawa
#pun #NEW LEVEL

neilnevins:

hectorsalamanca:

Panda researchers in China wear panda costumes to give mother-like feeling to a lonely baby panda who lost her mother [x]

without context it looks like some guy disguised himself as a panda so he could sneak into their panda community and now he’s making a quick getaway with the baby panda

(Source: scenicroutes)

cedrikaprovencher:

landorus:

i feel like ‘restaurant’ shouldnt be spelled like that

les anglophones volent des mots à d’autres langues puis chialent parce qu’ils ne sont pas orthographiés comme ils le voudraient

(Source: hentaisavedmylife)

posted 5 hours ago with 225,497 notes
via:cedrikaprovencher source:hentaisavedmylife
#francais

spenceromg:

SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT

posted 7 hours ago with 289,862 notes
via:finefox source:everyteens

(Source: i-n-s-e-n-s-i-v-e-l)

vinegod:

Dad Jokes: They’re So Legit Now 👨 by Thomas Sanders

posted 11 hours ago with 18,378 notes
via:finefox source:vinegod

jemmalep:

"I’ve VERY into science these days" 

Cotino and Sarphire as Cecil and Carlos

posted 13 hours ago with 278 notes
via:jemmalep source:jemmalep
#wtnv

brooklynvampire:

this is the second time i’m reblogging this in 24 hrs

(Source: ayyoo-river)

posted 15 hours ago with 100,211 notes
via:w0rldsick source:ayyoo-river
#30 rock

serkets:

itsgayerinenochian:

creepyjirachi:

"you can’t be just friends with people of the gender you’re attracted to"
myth actually true. i, as a bisexual, can confirm that i have no friends.

pansexuals spend their lives in solitude, with only rocks for company

meanwhile asexuals are friends with everyone. literally every single person on the planet. i do not know how i remember so many names

posted 16 hours ago with 151,162 notes
via:disillusioned-dreamer source:creepyjirachi

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.

posted 21 hours ago with 97,406 notes
via:agentmontague source:prokopetz

petercapaldass:

doctadonner:

i can’t get in lifts with people because i have a sort of phobia of breathing in people’s breath

and when i got asked what was wrong by my law teacher (she thought i looked ill) 

I had to fucking reply “I prefer people when they’re not breathing” 

image

image

image

posted 23 hours ago with 184,907 notes
via:finefox source:doctadonner

officialunitedstates:

bombing:

the 1700s called……they want their clothing back. haha just kidding the first telephone was invented in 1876

a good post AND i learned something.  thanks tumbrl

posted 1 day ago with 198,979 notes
via:gone-with--the-greasers source:bombing

(Source: braast)

posted 1 day ago with 68,869 notes
via:turnblrurl source:braast

just-watch-me-hachiko:

rainydayraised:

A girl becomes embarrassed after giving flowers to a female US soldier on duty in the northern Iraqi city of Mosul. 16 April 2007

The caption changes so many assumptions