i used to be clever
how to be cool
A) cool sunglasses emoji
is that a god damn pun. in emoticon format
Panda researchers in China wear panda costumes to give mother-like feeling to a lonely baby panda who lost her mother [x]
without context it looks like some guy disguised himself as a panda so he could sneak into their panda community and now he’s making a quick getaway with the baby panda
i feel like ‘restaurant’ shouldnt be spelled like that
les anglophones volent des mots à d’autres langues puis chialent parce qu’ils ne sont pas orthographiés comme ils le voudraient
SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT
Dad Jokes: They’re So Legit Now 👨 by Thomas Sanders
"I’ve VERY into science these days"
this is the second time i’m reblogging this in 24 hrs
"you can’t be just friends with people of the gender you’re attracted to"
myth actually true. i, as a bisexual, can confirm that i have no friends.
pansexuals spend their lives in solitude, with only rocks for company
meanwhile asexuals are friends with everyone. literally every single person on the planet. i do not know how i remember so many names
This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
i can’t get in lifts with people because i have a sort of phobia of breathing in people’s breath
and when i got asked what was wrong by my law teacher (she thought i looked ill)
I had to fucking reply “I prefer people when they’re not breathing”
the 1700s called……they want their clothing back. haha just kidding the first telephone was invented in 1876
a good post AND i learned something. thanks tumbrl
A girl becomes embarrassed after giving flowers to a female US soldier on duty in the northern Iraqi city of Mosul. 16 April 2007
The caption changes so many assumptions